Being Self-comfortable

In any life there are defining moments, points of self-discovery. For me the most important are when I discover a new level of comfort with being me, myself. Up to that point I’ve not been aware, necessarily, of any particular discomfort. Then comes this sense of having expanded into a part of myself that was waiting. It’s like I look and see that the skin has stretched to accommodate more of myself. I’m all here—and then some. That sensation of expansion into ‘more of me’ is such that I want to celebrate it.

I’m finding myself dressed out in a stunningly attractive and perfectly fitting new suit—except that it feels already old and comfortable and lived-in. Maybe I’ve grown into the next size, without quite knowing it. Having become more of my ownself, I seem to move around in new space.

When I reach this new level of comfort with myself, I’m aware that certain things have dropped away; they’re conspicuous in their absence. Missing, for example, is the need to question my decisions or actions. I can just go ahead and say or do something without pausing to test the waters. That new trust level saves all kinds of time.

Also, I don’t have to wonder where I want to go. Each day seems to beckon with its potentials, and I just move out, into and through each situation, enjoying the fulfillment of its possibilities. I seem to already know those venues where I’ll enjoy the most satisfying interactions or discoveries. When they occur I think: I didn’t know this would happen, but now that it has, I see that it was inevitable.

The world seems more alive and friendly, and I’m aware of the reason: I am more alive and friendly.

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